Odd when the lights come back on and you realize you not only heard it, but you typed it as well. Feel much clearer now, thank you. No longer a whimsey, or a dancing shadow, I can feel him get stronger every day.

A first step..... an open file, not hidden away in the computer to be revealed at a later date..... he lets me share it now.... I'm proud of his painfully shy self

Maybe one day W, the one he wrote this to, will see it... he knows who he is

ever feel a soul contract?

moved so deeply and painfully there is nothing more to do than lean back, wailing anguish to the stars in hope they may shed one favorable tear, turning what's within without to bear every singed nerve ending beyond the periphery of doubt the will to give completely, offer in excess to purge this empathic pain

pain boiling deep and furious, malicious intent crawling.... over spine with tiny prickling fingers, barbed in denial's rake, skinning, degloving, exposing what was never meant to be face the sun

pain burning so darkly it strikes the soulful chord of terror, chaotic harmony, piercing, vibrating, shaking, quaking to the very depths, any option but this one...... please.... do not do that to him

simple words read, an aching voice crooning your ears, seducing them with sweet words, hoping against fate the unspeakable truth was just a dream..... vestige of a lover watching as love dies branded in eyes, mind, soul though you weren't there to see it...

hearing of the past and shattering, pieces scattering in the wind, unable to capture each fleeing moment like a memory lost in misted time

unable to mend their pain, so willing to posses it, quench love's thirst in it to free them this eternal suffering

.

.

.

.

my presence cannot be enough, it cannot be worthy of the rapture you say it brings, though each day you look at me with eyes that adore the very depths of my being, words crossing your lips, convinced you would never feel free again..... then suddenly your freedom is found in my eyes, warm of my skin bringing life to the chill in yours

you trust me to help mend your soul when my hands tremble, your patience with my fears a divine bath

heart that had not existed for decades skipping beats should an ounce of pain show in my eyes, i give my all, and you give me more

and still in your eyes i can see your love for him, i can see the emptiness he once fulfilled, he taught you to love, just as you are teaching me

i know i will not replace, i do not want to, and i do not stand a chance if i did, you have moved on and know it is time to love again.... and i know i am not compared..... he is in your past, i revere him like a monument in history for he made you who you are, i could not thank him enough had i the chance....

i could not thank him enough for giving you to me

my only wish is i could give him back to you, even if it meant i could no longer be yours, to see the joy in your eyes i know he once brought and i would be at peace.... i see the shine as you think of him, fondly daydreaming, or telling me of him..... i am unable to be jealous of that beauty, i would break myself to bring just a glimmer of that shine to your eyes

you deserve nothing less

that is the happiness worth sacrificing for