Past two weeks have been interesting.
In summary.
Guy that used to rent house that Bro is going to move into not only died, but died in the house. Lots of sage and cleansing later, house is feeling good and we're ready to put in the new carpeting and paint. Hopefully in the next two weeks we'll have it all ready to do the musical chairs moving game.
Came back to a major warning from a friend about keeping an eye on the spirtual plane. Something seriously wicked was going on and heading our way..... needed to be strong, and keep the wards up. Found that others I knew that were sensitive had been effected by creepy feelings and general looming darkness. Makes one leery.... especially after going and cleaning spirtual energy out of a house just the day before.
Speaking of moving, the horse was successfully moved to a ranch out in the mountains where he'll have a huge paddock to go play in. His monthly rent is much cheaper, too. Feeling quite the king shit when he stepped out of the trailer (not to mention, was incredibly awesome in that he hasn't been in a trailer for six years but it tooks us only about five minutes to get him in, more in the time it took him to remember what to do about it than he was scared or flipping out)
Been back and forth doing a lot of packing and attempting to spend time with C, as well as giving everyone inside their time out and time alone that's needed. It hasn't been easy.
Many are restless. Many are angry.
But everyone has to compromise in order to get through everything. The plate's about to overflow and it's sheer will to keep everything in order and happy.
Yesterday, Bro and C and I went to visit one of our friends. He got a new puppy, and his wife is about to burst she's so pregnant, so it was a general visiting time. Didn't feel like packing, so decided to drive back up with them and watch some Cowboy BeBop which the Bro is now in love with. C was heading to LA in the morning, but Bro had to drive back here early in the morning - so could drop me off in time for Session today.
Then, last night, we have a doozy of a dream. Normally, asshole will wake up swinging or flailing from one of his nightmares - or be shaken awake by C whom he woke up with all the movements, barely regain consciousness, snuggle back up next to C, and drift right off. This was very different.
The house was a crossover of C's mom's place, and Bro's new place. We (C and I) were there to hang out with the littlest brother M and his pack of friends. There were about 10 or so people there, that I was aware of, but the lights were out and tv not bright enough to illuminate anybody so the only way to see anyone else was to light your cigarette infront of them and use that to illuminate their faces. I could make out maybe 10 or so forms hovering around the little halo of light off that one flic of the bic.It was time to go to sleep, had to, so everyone could get up and do the thing it was they had to do (even if Bro wasn't there, yet was taking me somewhere in the morning). Passed out on the couch. Woke up a little while later, and it was sort of twilighty/pre-dawny in that barely can make out things sort of.... and felt drugged. Couldn't move, couldn't stand up, was leaning against the piano shaking like a leaf in galeforce winds trying to light a cigarette and wake up enough to get limbs in order. People kept asking if I was okay, but I shook it off. I was fine. Just de-caffeinated, somewhere far beneath the nicotein standard..... something. Asked what time it was, and they said 11pm. With it being twilighty like that, and 11pm, I figured.... "fuck, we missed session, doc's gonna be pissed cause we didn't even call.... and now we're in Alaska." (since, at this point in the year, it's still twilight time in AK around midnight, we know this from the pictures the Purple Moose took of Solstice. So, not only did we sleep through session, but we fucking moved in our sleep. Great.)
Then, woke up again. Don't remember going to lay back down, but suddenly, tada, was awake again. Drug self off the couch with far more success this time and looked out into broad daylight. Aha, maybe did not miss session. So went to make our way into the bathroom to not only find out what time it was, but to do the whole getting ready to face the sunlight in the morning type of thing. Open the door and find there are several dogs in the room.
Odd. Something told me they had been there a couple days, just sorta.... knew..... Then I looked around as I was passing through, and they had been there far longer than that. Just left there. No food. No water. And there were once several more dogs, but they had been cannibalized by those still standing for nourishment. There was no smell, and no sound...... but signs of death were everywhere. It's a place you knew it had happened.
I move through to the next room. And it's worse.
Recognizable parts of animals were left. I could identify certain breeds from the pieces..... cocker spaniel...... chinuahua.... terriers..... most of the smaller dogs had been taken first. But several still survived. Larger dogs were gone as well. Now it wasn't only dogs. Several cats. Death and decay coated the carpeting and walls. I found a mother opossum.... dead.... vomit and fecal matter dripping from her, I had to shoo a Silky terrier away so it wouldn't go after the fecal matter as a food source..... or the babies still clinging to her fur, desperate for warmth from the chilled body. I picked the body up and literally shook the babies from her carcass like pennies from a piggy bank, trying to warm them with my hands, wrapping them in my shirt which I rolled into a make-shift pouch..... putting back the ones that had already died so they could be with their mother. Maybe 75% were still alive..... so I found a clean towel (!) and wrapped them, opening the door to the bathroom (pristine) and settled them in the sink, warm and snuggly in the new pouch, closing the door behind me and telling the person that was with me (K?) to not let the dogs in there - even though it was still silent, it's like I was speaking through telepathy. I could see Nick, Ursula, and Bear (our dogs) wandering in the pack..... all I could think of is how glad I was they had their shots because who knew what kinds of diseases the poor animals had been forced into accepting because they couldn't get away.
These animals were now my responsibility..... I don't know who left them, and at this point didn't care. I had to help them. I had to save them. I had to take care and make them better. The ones still alive were in good visual shape..... it's the ones I couldn't see that were critical, the ones I had to find, to give medical attention. But these needed food. There must be food somewhere.
I went on to another room. I didn't go down, but it was the basement. Looked much like the basement in C's mom's place - I must have been in the same house that was a cross between the two houses (as the basement was like C's mom's, but the stairway like Bro's new place). But the construction going on in C's mom's place had turned into ample shelving here. One one side of the door there was shelving, with lots of bowls, cages for small animals, even ferret/hamster tunnels, but then when I turned around.... this was the worst room yet. Even the light was a burgundy amber from the blood and mucus that coated the windows and lights. The air was thick, I could feel it as I walked through - even if I couldn't smell the stench. These animals were in worse shape..... mangy, mongrely dogs..... cats missing body parts..... on top of the fridge, even hamsters that had died and dried up while escaping their cage..... looking like they had been out on the sidewalk for a day or two, but caught, suspended, in mid-step while climbing from the top of one cage to another. Others were still alive.....
None of this made sense.
There was food in the basement, a four foot tall mound of kibble, trashcans filled with it. These animals down here had food, why were they cannibalizing each other? I bent down and picked up the pieces of what I knew was once a young cocker spaniel. I ran outside to throw them over the fence, smacked by the harsh clarity of the sunlight when inside was such chaos. It was so bright I almost couldn't see, barely making out the lush grass, rich brown wooden splitrail fence, and gleaming chainlink.
I had to clean this up before mom came home.
Back inside I started grabbing bowls, filling them to feed the dogs. The first open trashcan was full of biscuit treats. They would do for now, these animals needed food in a hurry (even though I knew you should get an animal medical attention and water before you give it food) before they killed any more of each other. Soon I was able to see the trashcans of kibble again. I didn't want to use the pile on the floor because it had been walked over, urinated and defecated on..... I couldn't feed that to the animals starving upstairs. I laid the bowls down I had filled for the ones gathered around my feet. Grabbing more to fill for the ones upstairs, a small cage for the opossum babies...... then I found I was standing infront of a green 36-gallon rubbermaid type of trashcan filled with walnuts.
A dog..... female..... what seemed a 50 pound pug (meaning basset hound sized) jumped into the trashcan, barking and snarling like there was some little beastie at the bottom of it she had to kill, to protect me from...... I can remember seeing her dig so furiously and quickly and it struck me if only the food barrels back at the zoo were so easy to dig through to get food into a coffee can to transfer into appropriate transport bins...... but then I realized that as she was digging, the walnuts were disappearing. The dog was recently pregnant too..... as she was digging away and deeper into the can I could see the swollen teats beneath her belly, and, peering closer, as the walnuts were disappearing, they were being replaced..... by these little bugs that had black ant like bodies and white/clear wings.... they were crawling all over the sides of the trashcan, the little mound of wanuts left at the bottom. I looked at the pug again and between the two lines of teats a pouch opened up, like labial lips that ran between the entire length, and I could see the insects begin crawling all over her, and into the pouch..... she was still digging to get away. I picked up the trashcan turned to hand it to someone, the person right behind me..... turned out to be my Bro, and I told him to go wash it out, this time verbally, the sound was deafening. The only way to get the bugs off her was to submerge her. He went outside to do it.... and when I turned around C's mom was standing at the doorway, shoulder against the frame, chitchatting (silently, only her mouth moved, back to silent film again) as if I were doing laundry and not surrounded by this..... horror.
It's like she could only see me, and not the world I was in. It was still so dark where I was, but bright and sunny around her. She had no clue what was going on around me..... she wasn't even in the same plane, or the same time. Just talking to someone else doing laundry. I couldn't understand.
It was then I woke up. Or so I thought.
I knew I was awake. I knew I was conscious. But I had no control. I could feel myself hyperventilating, and I almost watched it, stupidly, curiously, listening to the breaths whistling in and out of my mouth, making my throat ragged and raw. I could see the room, but I couldn't stop the softly crying breaths. Chest burning as it heaved. I could look around, but I couldn't move. I was still caught in the dream.
After what seemed like ten minutes (though I know it was shorter) I was able to jump to sitting up, having to physically remove myself from laying down, from the dream state, or some dark tendril would reach out and pull me back towards it. I sat up for awhile, trying to catch my breath, make my heatbeat return to normal, make my head stop spinning. Playing the dream over and over again I would make sure to remember most of it so I could tell someone. I looked to C. She was still asleep, I don't know how I didn't wake her up. I'm glad I didn't, though, she needed the rest.
It was a little bit before I (asshole actually..... even though it was his dream, technically, we all experience and remember it) could lay back down next to C and attempt sleep. It still was a long time coming. Plagued with waking up and thinking Bro was there to take us to the Doc's. Strangely enough, everyone slept in and he didn't get there until 1 - which was time to book it and leave, as from there it was an 45 minute drive.
Now looking back to that dream, there's a bunch of interpretation and meaning in it...... insanely interesting once you get past the terror of experiencing it. Didn't have time in Session today to go into interpreting it in depth, but the Doc threw a theory at me. All those animals are the crew inside. We haven't been able to get out, we haven't had the nurturing and care that's as per normal......
But does this mean the violence that's entailed will come with it?