January 22, 2003.01.22.03. - apologies [tristan][north jersey, retro]
(tristan)
Eventually, he collapsed into bed again, and through some halfawake memory he remembers Diego having to untangle and go upstairs before heading off to do something or another and a sleepy kiss left him alone with a promise to stop by later on.
The day has continued to pass, then the night, and now? He's been awake for a while now. Entirely too much to think about now - piecing together other pieces and parts of the evening, hoping to find he didn't do anything else quite as idiodic as what he did to James. A call to the condo left a message. "James? Tristan. I..we..fuck. call bef.. shit. yeah. you know. anyway *click*" right after he woke, but there's still been no word.
Showered again, he's worked his way through the apartment, and now everything is put away, stowed into some semblance of order, and he's collapsed on the couch again. Arm over eyes, beer that he's been nursing for a while resting against belly, relaxing, finally, enougth to contemplate practicing for a while.
A few moments later, lean muscle crunches, pulling him to sit up, beer set on the coffee table, and the violin case pulled out from underneath. He sets it on top of old, yet studry table, opening it and pulling out his Violin. A few moments tuning, and soon the soft strains of mozart fill the small apartment.(james)
it's late
or more.... early
sometime well past midnight when the Beemer arrives home
sometime well past -that- by the time they remember to check messages
she's moved upstairs
he's grabbed the phone and gone onto the balcony
thumbing the number while lighting up a Camel
patchwork coat shrugged up higher in some semblance of warmth
sinking into the chair only to let it lean back
boots climbing to rest on the balustrade
just waiting for the pickup
and after it happens"S'James."
(tristan)
Phone rings, and instantly music stops, violin set inside case, bow on table, and stretching reach pulls long arm across the couch to the side table, cordless (that indeed works) grabbed, thumbed on and tucked between shoulder and ear. "lo?"
A pause, all movement ceasing at the first word.. and everything wanted to say suddenly flees. A pause, filled only with breath, and then. "hey."
Little sounds, shift of material over skin, clink of bottle picked up, a few swallows to finish it off, before its set down again... elbows on knees, eyes on the table before him, and finally... "y'alright?"(james)
there's the crackle of burning tobacco
somewhere within that long pause
he was hesitant to call, for some reason
but dailed before he let himself think about it"Hey."
soft, warm... and tired, too
letting himself sink down to slouch in the chair
watching his breath fog with smoke and heat".... Yeh." it's thoughful "You?"
(tritsan)
He finds himself discecting the tones in his friends voice, pulling the warmth, the tiredness, the hesitation all in those few words, monosyllables.
fingers scratch through curls, just letting them fall again, gaze dropping farther from table to floor below, contrast of skin and the oddcolored carpet getting intense scrutiny.
And finally, a slight smirk, smal chuckle.. "Alright. cept for feeling like a complete ass and kicking myself for making your life a whoooole lot more complicated."(james)
Tristan, unknown, looks at the floor
James looks instead to the night sky
quietly observing what can be seen of the stars amongst the clouds
and then there's soft laughter
a breif chuffed sound"Actually..... it cleared a few things up for me."
(tristan)
The laughter brings gaze up a bit (oh be real boy, and shove that thought right out of your pretty little head.) and shuffle crinkle tap flash inhale..... slow exhale as lighter is tossed back on the table. Slight grin, and brow lifts - all unseen, but what's in his voice is some sort of amusement... "S'that a good thing?"(james)
"Yeh, it turned out to be a good thing."he doesn't particularly give details
but there's a.... serenity... in his voice
things that only come from the clarity of epiphany"I'm not mad, at what you did.... so don't think that."
(tristan)
As much as he wants too - he doesn't ask for details, either. It's not his place, it's not his business, and that.. serenity.. well maybe it gives a clue, maybe it doesn't, but any opinion he has in the matter is carefully held deep inside.
"Well..." chuckled, a little, he continues to pay a bit more attention to the floor then anything else... "that's good to hear. doesn't make me any less sorry."
A conversation filled with paused, an uneasiness deep inside that will take time to dissipate... and something.. unreadable.. in dark eyes that can't be seen anyway. "I never would have.... if I wasn't drunk - I just want you to know that. I never would have put you in that position." Well. Not, you know, in reality anyway...(james)
"Are you so sure?"softly, softly chided
that easy smile cant be seen, but it can be heard
how odd, to have so many conversations filled with pauses in one night
both of them dealing with such deep matters
(still wondering what he would have done....)
maybe he can't see what's in the kin's dark eyes
maybe he can hear it.... maybe he can't
either way, not a word is said about it"But I know. And I could have said no at any time. I didn't at first, and don't regret that."
(tristan)
Ah - there it is. The boyish grin that just suddenly appears, a shake of his head that brings curls in a shish over the phone. "Well... ok. maybe not completely positive." chuckled, ruefully, and he leans back into the cushions and just slowly relaxes... "but you know.. only in those dark demented fantasys that happen in the deepest sleep.." He chuckles, softly... and nods.. "I don't either. I wasn't lying... she's really lucky..... and scary as hell when pissed - she's not gonna like.. kick my ass right?" mostly.. playfully.. asked...(james)
"I can dig that."laughed as well
not like he can control the boy's thoughts
(and what ones did you have, Jamey-boy)
and it's strange for him
to actually know about being thought about that way
he's always just erased himself, before
it took Rune to redraw him into so many picture"No, she's not.... but she won't share, either."
just how do you put that tactfully?
and knowing the conversations they had before
maybe that explains some of the tones that color his voice(tristan)
He laughs, low and easy... Now, he can't control his own throughts, he can only wonder about the others.. and he can only hope it doesn't color anything wrongly from here on out. Momma'd tan his hide if he fucked this up, specailly by being stupid. Since she found out who he'd met here... well. Thats a story for another time..
The rest filters through, and the warm contentment, the soft.. peace.. that can be heard, and even felt through the phone, softens that smile even farther..
He knows.
he knows, and all the things that could never be said, were. "So you really are all right then. Can't tell you how happy that makes me.." and the warm sincerity in his voice is obviously genuine.(james)
"Yeh, I really am." chuckled softly "I wouldn't lie to you about it. If it weren't for what happened, things never would have been said, and things wouldn't be allright. So I guess I wanted to call before we left to make sure you knew that."didn't the kin leave the message?
maybe now he knows he didn't have to...(tristan)
He nods, and leans forward to stamp out that smoke in the tray, exhaling another soft chuckle. James think he didn't need too - but he did. if only for himself as it turns out, but he had too. A chuckle, and a nod.. "Well then, I did my good deed for the day.. and enjoyed every minute of it.." Oh so warmly teased in slight softening admission.. but throat clears, and he chuckles. "Well, I have one big rule - steer clear of the taken ones." Mimic of what was said before, but definately meant... "and no more of Diego's tequilia. goddamn, even." outright laughed.
He stands, bare feet carrying him to the kitchen area, fridge opened, bottle grabbed, top popped swallow taken. "So everything's a go for tomorrow then...need me to do anything for ya'll while you're gone?" Water plants, check things out, make sure things are taken care of...(james)
he hears that admission
and..... doesn't make one himself
even if there's the pause of breath that said he might've"Erik's staying at the condo while we're gone, he's taking care of things here. We're pretty much set. You have this number and Rune's cell if you need anything. We're leaving at sun-up... so I should get some sleep." another pause, and then his affection for the Kin is clear, family "Take care of yourself, Tristan, I don't want to read about you in the paper - for any reason."
it's said in tease, but there's a seriousness in his tone
nothing said about 'when I get back'
nothing said about the chance he may not come home
he's one of Gaia's chosen
tomorrow is never a certain thing
so you say what you need to now(tristan)
He has spent time on the fringes of the War (though sometimes those at home fight twice as hard, if only to let the ones they love go) and he knows what isn't said and what has to be said right. now.
If only for that? he'd have no regrets... it shouldn't have happened, it won't ever again.. but he's glad it did. A nod, and softy chuckled grin, affection returned (family) in the soft "I will.. and watch your back out there, man." Be careful, come home - and do the same. But there are no promises, there is nothing that guarentee's the Chosen will return. And he? just leaves it at that... there's the understanding between kin, between family, that keeps all things unwritten, but enough said that everything is understood.(james)
it's hard
and it's strange
it's been two years since he's let himself get close to others
since he's had any that would be left behind
up until now, those he cared about, his pack - they fought the battles beside him
so there was no one waiting at home
and it causes him to pause, to realize that
to realize there's someone waiting, now"I will..... goodnight, Tris."
never goodbye - for what good is there in a finality such as that?
he spends a moment, studying the phone after the line's cut
then weight shifts to pull himself from the slouch and the chair
quietly letting himself back into the condo
placing the phone back on the cradle to charge
boots warily climbing the stairs
walking into whatever tomorrow may bring(tristan)
Posted by james at January 22, 2003 12:00 AM
"Goodnight, James." Murmured, and the line is cut, and he too studies the phone.
Three years. It's been three years sice he had this feeling of being left behind, of not being one of the chosen to fight, to be there for the pack - of being pack. It's an empty feeling, and a fulfilling one as well. Maybe Momma was right, maybe it was about time.
Phone placed on the base, and fingers slide through hair. He's worried. He feels useless.
He's.. got a whole lot of things to do to keep his mind off of what James and the pack are going to face. May as well start now.
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