.03.23.02. - 3/24/2002

C's dad went into the hospital Friday night, massive stroke, caused by an old anurism that's begun to bleed..... driven a total of nearly 300 miles in the past 24 hours back and forth between hospitals and C's parents place to attempt sleep....

seeing if he's a candidate for coiling to stop the bleeding tomorrow morning..... and salvage what we can....

He recognized us Friday, but by Sat night he couldn't anymore.... he's pretty doped up but a lot of the hallucinations started before he got on the drugs, pretty combative....

spent some time holding his hand tonight, keeping him basically in the bed and not trying to get up and have a cigarette (he did that quite a few times, nearly stole mine from my pocket on Friday)...... I dunno if it was good-bye or not, but I made sure he knew I was there...... I got the feeling that deep deep down he did, but had no way to show it.... he got a lot calmer for that time.

I'm holding on to that.

No regrets.

even if he survives the coiling the confusion may not go away...... the risks either way include more strokes..... but, if all goes well with the coiling, then no more damage will be done, and the side-effects are fairly nil

missed work today, attempting to go tomorrow..... will find out tomorrow night if I keep hanging around up here or have to head back down to LA....

If anyone thinks of leaving hugs..... don't bother with me, you know how well we react to them.... but send them C's way. She needs them.