It all makes sense now - 1/19/2002

First off..... moved to OD+ today. It's a good price, it's guaranteed to be around for a long time, no ads *chuckles* Got I hated those ads. I made sure everyone from OD could still read and sign.

If I can justify $15 a month for Asshole's porn,

Hey, I pay for it with my own damn allowance.

I can justify $3.something a month for us to have a journal.

---

I figured it out, too, the bad mood on Wednesday. The innate feeling of things not being right all day Thurseday.

When at the Doc's, I couldn't figure out if it was an anniversary, or if something was going wrong in the world, or what the hell was going on. I was edgy, frustrated, even spooked. Thurseday I was most definitely spooked, on the drive to visit C and Nick, I felt so displaced.... like I was out of place. Night was pretty clear, but I kept looking to the horizon to see the NightWalker roaming (if you've seen Princess Mononoke you know what I'm talking about, I seriously expected to see this being). A 40 minute drive seemed to take hours..... even with the CD player on so I knew how much time had passed because of the songlist.

It didn't even dawn on me until I was watching the 10 o'clock news.

It was an anniversary.

January 17, 1994 (Thur), in the small hours of the morning, a deep, formerly unknown faultline in Northridge California dessimated parts of Southern California and was felt all the way into Northern California, and into bordering states.

January 16, 1994 (Wed)....

C and I were spending time with one of our buddies, we had gotten this good hookup of weed from a friend, we were all TOASTED and while our buddy went out to work on his car, C and I decided we were going to test out the jacuzzi.

All was going well (VERY well) for about 20 minutes, I started feeling a little fuzzy.

Pretty soon, I told C something was up, that I didn't feel good, I thought maybe it was the steam from the jacuzzi getting to me as when I'm high sometimes hot showers get too hot, and as I looked at her, I started feeling like I was looking through a yellow piece of paper with holes punched out of it (evenly, to make a latticed pattern, I guess).

After that I blacked out.

I remember looking up (I was now on the bathroom floor) at C, and grinning brightly, saying "Hi!"

Black.

I remember seeing something standing just behind her right shoulder, a dark shape, tall, lanky..... robed.

Black.

I remember looking down at myself, from the bathroom ceiling, at C performing CPR.

Black.

I remember something being beside me, just to my right, another big, dark shape.

Black.

Afterward, C told me she had been doing CPR for 20 minutes, I would never stay conscious or breathing, my heart kept stopping. Our buddy had his stereo so loud outside he couldn't hear her screaming, and she woudln't dare stop breathing for me. It took me about four hours after that to get any semblance of color back in me.

Whatever we bought had been laced.

(needless to say we never bought from that guy again and he was in some SERIOUS pain and are now super extremely careful about our hookups)

Several hours after getting home, after that, fast asleep and recovering from that experience...... the house felt like it was walking off it's foundation, pulling me from nightmares that already had me in a cold sweat.

And people wonder why I'm terrified of earthquakes.