That has basically been my last few weeks. I probably snorted an entire meth lab by myself over halloween week. Got to be all floaty with X (I don't understand where the raging uncontrollable hormones come from, X seems to me very expensive hype, although a very enjoyable roll.... maybe I need to do it at a rave or something, it seems an atmosphere drug, and everybody at our trip was very very chilled - even it two were shrooming) the week before. Then got to spend half my shroom trip in a very interesting chaos until we figured out that it's a whole lot more fun when everybody is on the same channel.... then begin the giggles...... the week before that. Not to mention also threw in a tweak one-nighter.
I know I've neglected this, I know we all have. There's been no interest or passion to write. There also hasn't been session for a number of reasons so nothing even to make myself record.
We're lost, it seems.
Numb.
Sure, there's school and work. Oh joy.
Spazzboy hasn't seem someone very close to him for a very long time now.
How many months, now? Since August? No word..... no response to email..... no nothing. Not even a "hey, i'll be gone awhile" message..... I'm worried, scared, and feel like I'm dying inside. I've never missed anybody this much....
There have been other ups and downs. Plus a whoooole lot of drugs. The mind and body bending is coming to a close, though.... we've been on our bender. It's time to play adult for awhile...... next year we'll be able to do it again. As long as we remain aware of our use, and know when is the appropriate time to stop, without any argument, I think we're doing ok. Things won't get into the way. Things won't get fucked up.
I know I'm behind on notes and reading, if I missed anything, ask it again, we'll try to get there. Cause I doubt we'll get caught up.
There seems to be a new one forming, too. Every once in awhile, two will join forces and create something that is just a character. The "presence" will hang around until an issue is dealt with, then disperse back into the shadows. At first, I thought that this is what was happening again....... as this guy seems the perfect combination of Asshole and Shyboi....... but he's still around, and gets stronger. He isn't fading away.
So, if this keeps up, we'll have another in the ranks. This wasn't just coming out of the shadows...... this seemed to be a new birth alltogether....
You seem like a really cool person..maybe we can talk sometime and become friends?
~Alicia
[.faded.s t a r.]