Mom things - 8/28/2001

I think the train of thought that got broken earlier (the 9:30 PM entry of last night) sort've mislead my mom's involvement in this.....

I think becuase I'm in the situation that I didn't read it the way it came across..... and judgement by notes, the wrong idea came across.

My mother is the most supportive woman in the world.

That was what I was trying to get across in that entry, but I was so easily distracted by someone walking in I was unable to finish the thought.

When I was younger, 13 or so, my parents took me to therapy. To cut a long story short it didn't turn out very well, and ever since then I've had an incredible distrust of therapists. In college I decided to go talk with one because I needed...... something..... and that, too, did not turn out well (I basically told him he was a disgrace to the profession to his face and walked out).

My mother is...... apprehensive..... because she knows how I feel about therapists. She also knows there is something terribly wrong that I haven't told her about, yet. And this distresses her.

I have given her no avenue to help me.

And I know that is what she wants most. She even offered to drive me in, tomorrow. But I told her I need to do this myself, or I won't ever be able to (I even told C to stay at home). She's offering to pay for this, meaning everything insurance doesn't cover, without a question, for however long it takes.....

My mom's a good person...... it's.... saddening.... to think I put her in a bad light.....

*smiles a bit* Better now?