Preparation - 6/19/2001

There is NO way we're fitting 1100 MP3s on those few CDs...... no fucking way.....
If we're gonna clean off the comp so we can upgrade it while we're gone, we have to

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Does everybody have their list of what needs to be packed?

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I...... *sighs and stops*

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I'm such a terrible impulse buyer..... I walk in to get CDRWs, and walk out with a pack of those and Myst III Special Edition *chuckle*

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Would you clear out the damn cache already? It'll burn faster

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So why the sudden rush to back everything up? Other than the innate ability for a computer to melt itself down in angsty defiance of being unplugged and a dire need to do so because I haven't for a while...... we're upgrading the computer. This has been timed A) between quarters at school and B) during two weeks I will have no use for the computer, as *heh* I will be away on vacation starting Friday.
My mom's family lives out of the country, and so my mom and I are going to visit the grandparents and other branches of ye olde family tree.
Yea, you read that right. C ain't goin. She wants to, but can't. She's already planning on making the next trip out. But she won't be around on this one.
And that, in itself, is terrifying.
I haven't really been around much family since conscious of the split. Two summers ago my mom's brother and his family came to visit from Australia and I got to see them two days of their stay (as I was in school). That was cool...... but I also had not seen these people since I was a child..... and had never met their children. Now I'm going to be going to see people that know me, that remember how I used to be..... and know nothing of the split or others.... and that the others mostly don't know.....
The anticipation is killing me.... tension levels are already high.
The others are scared, excited, subdued, curious, wary, gung-ho..... the list goes on.
And I will be doing it without my buddy, my PARTNER, holding my hand..... without the one safety they have. The one person almost any of them can turn to for shelter..... they cannot and willnot turn to my mom for help.
This will be the longest we have ever been apart since discovery.
I don't know how I"m going to handle the fucking 19 hour plane ride much less the two weeks......
I really wish C was going....