I See You - 11/8/2000

Ahhh, I think I may be pulling out of my writing slump... haven't been able to write anything even noteworthy for a while, much less create anything in photoshop or flash.... it's frustrating....

My best friend said she had a half baked writing idea (her mom tends to drag her along to these writing groups to show her off, which I think her mom should, as her writing is just incredible..... should you know who she is, you also know what I'm talking about) for the aforementioned group. So, she asked several people (I have no idea how many, I just read the replies of maybe three of them) this qestion, and the response I guess is what is going into her half baked writing project.

And babe, should you have finally found me on here (it's about damn time) will you at least leave a note?

So here is the question (more or less):

What do you see when you look at me?

And here is my reply.....

Look at you? How dare you ask me that. I don't look at you.

I look into you.

I've seen your picture, or those you choose to send. And while we've never met face to face I'm sure you resemble those files in some way. But am I to judge on what I see when I look at you? Am I to judge a book by it's cover?

I prefer the chapters, thank you. I look past the physical faults you believe you should point out. They matter not. How long did I know you before I knew your face? Your body.

Don't I still tell you I love you? The same way I always have?

How long did I make my own face for you. Blond hair. Blue eyes. True, she may resemble only a character, a figment of our collective imaginations - that is all I knew for a time.... but it's within those eyes everything resides. I see into your soul. I see only your unconditional friendship. Your trust. Your patience - with me as well as others. Your support. Your neurosis. Your creativity. Your bad habits. Through the computer screen I have no choice but to see your typos. Just as you see mine. We are, by default, human, and not Speak'n'Spells. Your joys, and your fears. Your loves. Your lusts.

Quite frankly I enjoy being one of them.... how many have we scared with our scenes?

I see a fabulous mother. And an incredible lover. No, make that incredible loverS. The many parts of me and the many complimenting parts of you I've been blessed with make a wonderful family portrait. I cannot thank you for the fractures you created to content and heal mine. You've done so with ne'er a complaint. Each time I fell you'd pick me up. Give someone new a companion... a friend... and sometimes lover.

((note: Just to clear that up to those outside the know, we're roleplayers. Amazing what therapy that is to a multiple.))

I see the woman who brought my Pup into this world - and is somehow strong enough to survive raising her.

I see a woman who doesn't realize herself, her potential, or how important her place is in this world. No matter how many times I tell her.... or even in how many languages I can find to translate it to. She denies me everytime in this special game we play. I think she's just fishing for complements. That blush every time I tell her I'm proud is just an act, I tell you. She doesn't realize how strong she truely is.

This woman also has some mighty dangerous weapons in her bra.

Lo, the man who scorns her.