I was humbled today....

Here I am, 27, just beginning to figure my life out, bitching about dating of all things. Sure, it's something that's at the forefront of my mind, but I'm nitpicking the little things and not taking my own advice to just let it all flow and enjoy it as it comes.

Then, while reading through my faves, I saw a diary that was recommended.... and traipsed on over to see why. I stepped into the land of The Patient.

It was the slap upside my head that I needed. Slapped so hard had I not been sitting down it would have knocked me off my feet.

I blinked, reading his little info speel...... and heard the chaotic chorus quiet down..... he had everybody's attention.

I started from the beginning, reading each and every one of his entries, though I only signed the last two.

Through many of them, tears clouded the screen, and I had to stop reading for a few minutes. (*chuckles* In fact I'm still leaking as I attempt pulling together words worthy of addressing him) After watching my father fade away through the last years of his life, as well as both my aunts..... The Patient's diary hit home, and hit deep. I'm scared to watch another...... I'm scared to begin to like someone, even if he is just words on a screen amongst how many thousands we have on here, he still becomes a part of my day....... and then one day no longer have that person to go back to...... but I can't help myself, he's a part of my favorites, and I will read his diary until there are no more entries (yep, there I go leaking again).

He's 15, and is far stronger than I am. He knows he is going to move on..... yet is so vibrant.

I was..... amazed..... simple words typed on a screen could affect me like this. He just writes what comes forth..... and here I am grasping at words that zing by in the fog, maybe one or two of them will have as much impact as his "I've had a good day today."

*smiles soft* I had forgotten how to seize the day, live like there is no tomorrow, and dance like there is nobody watching.

He made a list of things he wants to do before moving on..... one of the list is to inspire someone. Another is to be remembered in some way.

The Patient, you have done both in a single reader - and in doing so, you have humbled me.

I thank you.