Well, to be honest and technical, it's multiplicity *chuckles*

Anyway.... this time I'm paring it down to just me..... lil ol' me.

Something struck me today, as I was reading through my faves..... several of them deal with sexuality. One man is actually chronicling the journey into becoming Simply Dianne. I wish her the best *smiles*

But I realized something. Most people go through absolute emotional and/or social HELL when sexuality is involved. Especially men. For women, p'shaw. It's acceptable as long as you don't go into detail, generally (ok, in my experience, don't flame me here, I know it can be hard for women too). In fact, many other guys I know rather like the idea of two women.

Though I've always wondered why those same guys are skittish around gay men..... c'mon, which is scarier to your sex life..... a guy that thinks you're cute and would happily blow you, or two women who have realized men are totally useless and unneeded except to lift heavy objects?

But I'm digressing.

I look back..... where was this earth shattering moment in which I realized everything? I know I've had tendancies..... had them earlier than I cared to admit, then there was a night of Yukon Jack that seemed to change everything. After that I was a bit more open about it, I wouldn't skirt questions, I'd comment....

*sighs* Too bad I'm not even on speaking terms with A anymore (from things A did to others, not me.... unfortunately it directly affected me *growls*)

Ok..... so, uh, where was this big deal about coming out?

It was surprisingly easy for me. I almost feel guilty reading and hearing about what others have gone through. Is it just cause I've had a significant other for the past 8 years? People have another person that conforms to societal nor..... *laughs* ok, so C doesn't quite conform with the multicolored hair and leather, punkers unite dammit, but C is who I should acceptably be with genderwise

Sure, I haven't told my mom yet. She's also never asked. If it comes up, I"ll admit.... if it doesn't, well, I don't want to really hear that much detail about her sex life either.... so I think we even out *laughs* And I think the "Well, we just were up late bs'in so all crashed in there, just like we did back at school" excuse for why K didn't use the guest room worked nicely...... *sighs* Yea, was a bit of a misdirection there, I'll grant

I never had to fight for acceptance. College had a healthy mix of every sexual preference you can imagine. Yep, keep imagining.... there you go *smile* So yu just went with the flow. People always thought I was a bit off anyway, cause when you walked into my room you'd have to duck the restraints hanging from the middle of the ceiling. I say someone's good looking, everyone agrees (and I know I don't have that much Presence). Maybe it's the state I live in (as most anything is accepted here).

Ah..... but I was never in a relationship before. I was always the seemingly hetero guyl, making comments about how good, or bad, someone looks, etc..... c'mon, who won't appreciate fine art? Or a body that's well taken care of, be it male or female? That's ok.....

So here I am..... newly introduced to the dating/competing world once again..... having had no prior experience with being given looks in public, being ostracized, or being mistreated.... wanting to go be with someone of the same gender in public. As we were at the mall..... I had a feeling the lady a tthe ring place knew what she was talking about...... I..... I'm a different person around K than I am around C. With C I'm your average regular guy, goofball extrordinaire.... yet open every door and pay for everything I can. Then with K.... uh..... where did you want me to attach the leash again?

I don't even know what I"m getting myself into.... nor have I had the competence to ask K about just how open it all is. I'd willingly put myself into the gauntlet and walk hand in hand somewhere....... will K? Will that just hurt K? Will that be too much? Am I just stressing this out and should wait and let it flow?

*sighs* Need to get drunk again..... I'm rambling