Tell us something about your ancestors - who were they, where did they come from? How did their cultural experiences help to influence or shape your life?

Ooooh, delving into this one, are we? *chuckles so very softly*

Looking back into my ancestry tells me a lot. They hail from mostly northern Europe, if I"m correct. Quite a lot of Scot in me, as well (if you couldn't tell if you knew me). But back there it's not so interesting, and really not so well known as the more recent family history from that side fo the family. I've a lot of pasty, loyal, and fierce people in my heritage *proud smile*

But once you get a little closer to home is where it gets more disturbing. They're not so pasty anymore, either, so it's something of a blessing, too *wry chuckle*

No one's died a natural death, that I know of anyway. It seems to be the one common denominator through the generations.

Cancer, stroke, ALS, heart attack, anneurism..... some in multiples. Obviously, wasting away and going peacefully at a ripe old age of a bedridden 103 is not an option from that side fo the family. And personally I'd rather not break the mold..... wasting away is not my idea of a good way to go. I'll take a blaze of glory anyday.

Then there's the suicides. One entire branch of the family tree was wiped out by suicides. Few others spattered here and there, but got DAYUM man, five out of a single generation?!

Two hangings, two shootings, and one particularly brave and determined woman drank strychnine.

Almost two generations later, same line, he who would have been my cousin slammed his motorcycle into a bullldozer parked on the side of the road. Many claim accident. How do you not see a blazing yellow 'Cat parked in the middle of a construction zone? Hm?

Manic depression runs in my family. Mental instability runs in my family. Suicide runs in my family. Schizophrenia runs in my family. Mental breakdowns run on the otherside, however, gee such a saving grace. That side only gets institutionalized. Actually *sighs a bit* both sides have been, I think....

So I've got two options, it seems.... if I'm to carry on tradition and all that. I can be throttled by a terminal disease or medical accident..... OR..... dive off the deep end and breast stroke my way right on into the afterlife.

I mean, I've been at the brink of suicide quite a few times before. But I figured out the voices, the feelings, the visions, everything...... and seem to function realitively well with little regret. And have, successfully, for quite a while now. SO and I have been through a lot of deep shit.... but it's ok now. So *deep breath* I have one thing figured out from looking at my family....

I'm a fuckin' loon.

And it's tradition *laughs, chorus ensuing* TRADITION!

They didn't survive it. I will.