Note to self: DO NOT RESIZE WINDOW ACCIDENTALLY! *sighs and retypes, having no clue as to how or why the window got resized.... though it will probably just figure later on*

I have found..... that I NEED to move back to LA. It's a two or so hour drive from here, around 20 bucks in gas one way... and that's just ridiculous cause I want to make that drive on every day off I have.

And I am willing to do this yes I am.

I am hopelessly, truly, madly and (ooooh soo) deeply (heh) in love.

And the crowd says "Why of course, you live with your SO"

True, I love my SO with everything I have, couldn't imagine a life without C. But, well..... that ain't who I"m talkin about here.

C knows about this, don't you worry. K is one of our mutual friends....... infact my SO keyed into my feelings long before I was able to.

I met K last January, during Rocky Horror auditions (I was ass't director..... or better knows as "Slave Bitch" - and putting "Slave" infront of that became quite optional, I found *L*). K made it in..... but that first night *shakes head* my heart went pitter patter, but I didn't say anyhting cause, frankly, K's hotter than hell and it could've just been simple lust. And I didn't know how well I'd be recieved, either. Through rehearsal I'd stick around as much as possible while beign focused on the show, the eye candy was a treat, but with the stress of making sure I graduated asnd we were ready to go up opening night, I didn't hang around a smuch for pleasure as I wanted to. Didn't have a bunch of time til opening night itself as I was running security and not stressing about the show anymore.

Oh man.... the after show cast party. Drank enough Vodka to kill a horse (probaby cause K fed me 8 pineapple shots on top of the two full glasses I had already, after that, I lost track)..... and joined in on the veritable orgy on the front lawn. Anyone familiar with Rocky will know that is a far from typical "orgy." K, of course, was the first person I grabbed, and ended up refusing to share. My SO (who gave me permission to do the grabbing and told me to "go explore and play") and little brother and cousin were all standing less than ten feet away just laughing (and a little shocked on the bro and cousin's part)..... bro even took some pics (memories, not blackmail, I'm sure). Didn't get all -too- far, as we were right in the middle of campus, and the vodka decided that therew as more of it than my blood, and it was time to void.

Ironically, I ended up sharing the sink with..... of all people.... K (who also stayed drunk til dinner the next night *smiles* regardless of the amount of sink sharing).

After that, I believe, I was hooked.

But then my quandries began. Was it just because of the Vodka and general Rockyness that the feelings were returned? Or even had in the first place? Partied a couple more times before the school year ended (as Rocky goes up about two weeks before finals) and graduation kicked me out of the comfort of college life...... and drunken affections were exchanged, but nothing farther.

Oh but I wanted it.

Of course, I'm just too damn nervous and shy around K to do much about it. As I said before, I'm hopeless. I have NEVER been so unsure of myself (never had a relationship or feelings like this before, either), I can't even meet K's gaze for too long without looking down and smiling. God forbid completing a sentence.

Then.... *chuckles* there was Saturday night. (cont'd next entry)